It has been a long time since I gave any updates on our homestead house remodel and that is because there has been nothing to talk about until now. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I am real and you know I will tell all—I have been a spoiled brat! I got so used to the lap of luxury in our big white farm house rental that I became frustrated with the lack of things getting done in our new home.
I will tell my story…
I HATE clutter!
I allowed myself to cry over it a number of times. I am a reformed slob, so I feel like I can’t even function with clutter anymore now. I am obsessive about organization and cleanliness. I was upset because I was promised a homestead that was finished. I was comfortable in the fancy rental and did not want to move. I moved because I wanted to chase a dream with my husband. It was exciting and while remodeling it was such a thrill to see things come together and then—BAM! Nothing!
It burned me, I was designing cabinets and when the cabinet man skipped town I thought we would be working on them in the evenings, but I was wrong. My husband worked full time and in his spare time he was outside making pastures, brush hogging, cutting down trees, and tearing into other projects laying around the fields. I kept looking out the window thinking, “What about my cabinets?” Silently longing for my projects to be done. The trim around the floor, the windows, and the cabinets.
Trying to maintain composure, contentment, and humility, I lied to myself, I would paste a smile on and go about my business while my impatience grew into my heart like a cancer that bred all kinds of frustration and bitterness. Little did I know, I was spoiled. The enemy is always lurking around to play with our minds and we get sucked into the lies. I just started believing them. I can’t tell you how many mornings I would wake up to my cluttered mess of a sloppy kitchen and I would cry to my husband saying “I am so sick of this clutter and mess. You promised we would not live under construction, YOU PROMISED!”
Every time he would look at me and say, “You always tell people that you are like a pioneer. Be that Pioneer woman—you are smart, creative, and besides, people live in far worse situations all around the world. Just listen to yourself for a second. Be thankful for what we have, we have so much! We are blessed beyond measure!” He repeated that phrase many times, and it became like a record spinning in my mind until I just cracked, Praise the Lord! At first I would resist the truth of his words for the shear redundancy of them. I would cringe back with my frustration. But just recently those words of truth penetrated my heart and I learned from them.
Well, he was right. What a deal! I simply fussed over nothing. I am smart, creative, and I am blessed! I am living out in the country on a homestead, my family is healthy and I have Jesus! What more could you need?! When others are suffering in all kinds of terrible ways, I am blessed beyond measure and I have a roof over my head, a loving husband, and all the things that so many others pray to attain! While others live with loss, disease, and hopelessness, I have hope! What a fool I was to let a dumb thought steal another minute of my precious time. I thank God for giving me just what I need and nothing more! For not letting me have my WAY but His! For teaching me patience and giving me a husband that can help me see what I am missing. And when you miss it, you are missing out on life!
It is never too late for an attitude adjustment! Yesterday in honor of his lovely instruction I got busy in my kitchen. I remodeled it with no money, no new decorations, but just with what I had and the sweat of my brow! I was being resourceful. I am a PIONEER Woman!
I rearranged, cleaned behind things, and said goodbye to all the clutter. The first thing I did, since there were all these little things piling up on the wood shelves, I hauled an old dresser in and started to fill the drawers with cups and utensils, lids and measuring cups.
I found a brown plastic bin to organize all my homemade cleaners, scrubby pads, and trash bags. And I can slide it out when I need something. I even plan to make a cute curtain to hang around the base of the sink just to hide my bin away along with the pipes that just do not look that rustic.