So many people have asked me what the story is about Kathryn. Her story starts with Alex. It is because of Alex that I met Kathryn. One of Alex’s night nurses who would stay all night to care for him while he was very medically fragile, meaning, he had monitors constantly measuring each breath he took, every beat of his heart and the amount of oxygen in his blood.
The nurses name was Celeste. She was a tall, beautiful black woman who most people thought was Alex’s mother when we would go to the frequent doctor or emergency visits due to his many medical issues that always came up. I started wearing the same color clothes as Alex so he and I looked the same color because people would not believe me when I said I was his mother.
One evening early on she told me that she was also a foster mom to a medically fragile child with the same agency I went through. I asked her what her foster child was like. Was her child just as fragile as Alex and she pulled out her phone and showed me Kathryn. The second I laid eyes on her, I fell fast in love with her. She had a pig tail on the top of her head that went straight up and I thought she was so so cute.
Celeste started crying as she told me that Kathryn was with her for 8 months and that she would be up for adoption bc her parents may not be able to get her back. She was a single mother so she did not know if she would adopt her bc it would be a lifetime commitment. She said she would adopt her though because she loves her and could not bare to give her back and never see her again.
I immediately said, “What if we adopted her?” She lit up and asked us if we were willing to adopt her because she felt we would be perfect for Kathryn. We already were fighting many battles advocating for Alex that she thought Kathryn could benefit with our level of vigilance. I showed my husband a photo of her and he said without batting an eye, “Absolutely we would adopt her.” We both said, we already have one special needs child and many doctor appointments, what’s one more?
I had it all planned out that I could piggy back the therapy and the doctors visits so I could manage both of their case loads. Celeste asked me if I wanted to meet Kathryn that early January. Kathryn had been in the hospital for pneumonia and she could use a break, so I went to the hospital to meet little Kathryn. She told me Kathryn also had Leukemia but was in remission. She was so tiny compared to Alex and at that time Alex was not very affectionate, he would punch me if I came too close or scratch me. It took a bit to build trust with Alex because he had so many handlers and was moved from foster home to foster home.
Kathryn was different. She instantly smiled at me. She was a little over a year old and still looked like a 6 month old baby. She melted into my arms and I rocked her to sleep as I sang her a song. Instantly I bonded with her and I set my course at that moment that she would be my daughter from then on. She had told me her parents did not want her and that Kathryn was in ICU for the first 60 days after birth bc of high levels of drugs in her system. She had to go through withdrawals which were very intense.
After she got out of the hospital from her pneumonia episode, Celeste started sharing Kathryn with us. We made up a little nursery off our bedroom and we took her half time. She would drop her off Thursday evenings and we would care for her along with Alex for 4 days over the weekends. At this time, we were also bonding closer with Alex as he started to have surgeries and the original nurses were fired off his case for lying about me and trying to get him taken from us. That is another long story.
Celeste was the only nurse that remained and we were able to get other nurses for Alex that would not have the evil agenda that the other 3 nurses had. They would actually work as a network with their lies and each call CPS on the families to have him removed from each foster home. How cruel, because it prevented Alex from getting the major operations he needed in order to have a better quality of life. And one of them claimed she was like a mother to Alex. She would not even let me hold him. It was the weirdest, disgusting situation. Don’t even get me started. I actually need to write a book about every detail because it would take me a book to tell the entirety of Alex and Kathryns story.
After about 4 months of sharing Kathryn, Celeste wanted to hand the custody over to Mark and I so that we could become her foster parents. At this time Celeste called a special meeting with DCS and the other adoption/foster agency. She asked them to place Kathryn with us. The DCS said, “We don’t allow foster parents to recommend other families to take over custody. WE decide who is the right fit for a child based on our vetting systems.” Thankfully, the other agency vouched for us because of our success with Alex and his amazing progress. They pushed DCS to make a temporary placement with us until they found a better “fit”.
The next 6 months were grueling because we never knew if one day the DCS would show up at our doorstep to pick up Kathryn. At this time we were so bonded, I didn’t know how I would handle if they showed up and said I had to hand her over. They have the power to do that without any prior notice, they can show up and you must hand over the child. You don’t even have time to gather any belongings, they just leave your arms forever. Every day I lived with that fear.
During this time, I learned that Kathryn’s parents wanted her and I met them on a zoom call since it was during covid lock downs. They were wonderful people who were done wrong by the CPS. I found out that the case workers were not helping them to get her back and then I sat there feeling like a horrible person. I felt that I was a part of the problem because I wanted Kathryn based on a lie that they did not want her. I did not want to take a child from a loving home. I got to know her parents quite well and I told them I would help them get her back with all my being because if that happened to me, I would want the foster parents to help me get my children back.
They appreciated my love for them and for Kathryn. I cried knowing I would have to give her back one day and that I did something very selfless to the world. But to my surprise, her parents told me that they loved her so much that they see she is in a safe, wonderful home that they did an unselfish thing. They prayed about it and felt we were more able to offer her the delicate and constant care with her disabilities than what they could offer her. We both agreed to keep her adoption open and that they would be able to be in her life as much as they desire to be and that we would care for her needs. We promised to keep the line of communication open and they were over joyed. They soon surrendered her to the state so that we could adopt her per their request.
After about 6 months went by, the threat of DCS finding another more suitable foster home diminished and we were on our way to a solid permanency plan. The adoption happened about one year after the adoption of Alex in 2020. We still keep in contact with her parents and Kathryn enjoys seeing her mommy and daddy on the zoom since they live far away. Each passing year, I always offer to drive to their town to have an in person meeting with Kathryn to reunite them. They had not seen her or hugged her since she was 4 months old.
As with all things, such visits would be so heavy and unbearable to parents that love their daughter and want the best for her. I wish I could take that pain away, and one day Kathryn can give them all her love and hugs but for now we try to do zoom calls so they can at least see each other. I leave the ball in their park as to when they would like to actually see her. I now it is hard. I want to personally honor them for trusting us with their precious gift from God.
When we adopted Kathryn, we gave her a new middle name…Celeste. After the nurse who introduced us to her…
Kathryn means pure gift
Celeste means heaven
Kathryn Celeste means our pure gift from heaven and she is a gift from heaven. To God be all the glory! ❤️🙌🏻❤️
