Last weekend I took photos at my cousins wedding. So many wedding dresses today are so immodest. I feel it is great to have one that covers your body more but is really pretty. My mother brought us two white pretty dresses for the girls from another family. They were pretty and very long.
My daughter Molly said, “do you think white and peach go well together?”
I said “why?”
She said, “well look up at the top, my skin is showing so much I just wondered if that looks good, white with peach?”
I know that she was feeling uncomfortable with the spaghetti straps of the bodice and I told her, “You know what, darling, You can put a white t shirt under it if you feel better about that, and she was happy I let her do that. I would never want to make her feel half naked.
Most parents forget about the modesty issue. The churches forget to teach about it and the kids start looking just like the rest of the world leaving it all hang out. Not in our home! We wear modest dress here! Why should we punch people in the face with our bodies? Saying, “Here look at my body! Did you hear me? LOOK AT ME!!!!!” Wearing clothing that fits the form sensuously and draws the eyes to back side or the breasts is wrong. It is giving men the temptation to be distracted and lures them astray from God. It is surprising to me how many christians are oblivious to modesty. You go to the churches and see girls, young girls, looking half dressed and ready to go out looking for a mate. It is nice to look nice but not so you cross the line of your own purity and integrity. I realize some people have been slowly leaning in that direction, so slow that you realize it when it is already normal to your kids. They are wearing it and all of a sudden you realize your daughter is gorgeous and is a women! You realize that it is no longer cute but now she is sensuous. Now it would be hard to teach her that it is not good after she has grown accustomed to this way of dressing. She would not even be one bit ashamed to have a bikini on. I thought it would be fine for little girls to wear the cute mini skirts and tank tops at one time, but I thank the Lord for opening my eyes to this issue early on. I would never let the girls wear tank tops, bikinis, or shorts. I felt that anything low cut, even on little girls, would be a trap for our future. Now, I just make sure the dresses are well below the knee and the tops cover the shoulders and chest really nice. If you get them used to this, Like we did, they will feel uncomfortable with anything else. Like they should. Like my sweet Molly and Megan did. They are only 8 and 9 years old. Praise God for opening my eyes so early on so I could give my girls less heartache for their future. We also try to keep the genders separated by the way we dress. Girls have long hair and wear dresses or skirts, and boys have shorter hair with pants. That is a whole other issue that I could talk about.
When I was 21 years old, married to Mark, pregnant with Miles, and attending my final year of college, I was looked down upon for rushing into marriage and children. I once had a class that was call Sociology. We had a “lady” walk in with long hair, a nice skirt on, and high heels. She started to talk and we all sat with amazement as her voice was that of a man! It was a real Man! He was married to a women and had children but he liked dressing like females. SICK! Then I stood up and ranted against it, the christian that I was. He yelled back at me…”Sit down lady, or should I say man? You have short hair, pants on, and look more like a boy than a girl. How come it is OKAY for you to look like a boy, but NOT okay for ME to look like a girl?” That woke me up totally. That is so true. It is okay for girls to wear pants and cut their hair really short. I started wearing dresses and growing my hair out from that point on. My husband loves the new look!
Just something to Ponder.
6 thoughts on “Molly's Modesty”
I love dressing modestly. I never thought about the effect I was having in my form-fitting black pants until my fiance said something to me about them. I have now transitioned to wearing mostly skirts, but it is difficult to always wear them when I work at a railroad. Of course, I find them way more comfortable than pants ever were, and I don’t have to worry about leaning over at the alter at church and having my underwear show! Now, I love teaching girls about modesty, but what I don’t like is this idea that women are responsible for a man’s desire. Now, if it were equal, perhaps I could be more on board, but let me ask, why is there never mention of men’s modesty? Sure, we might think that men’s clothing is never cut to be revealing and such, but is it not? Think how pants these days are cut to perfectly outline the crotch and the buttocks. When my husband spoke to me about my pants, I asked a favor in return. I asked him to make sure that his shirts remained untucked. When they were tucked in, I probably found my eyes straying as much as his were! Now, it isn’t really spoken of in the Bible, most likely because a woman’s honor was harder to earn and lose. And also because women, even back then, were probably dressing more revealingly outside the Jewish faith and perhaps even in it. But back then, both women and men wore robes or dress-like garments, so there was never tucked in shirts to contend with. Personally, I would like it if we all went back to wearing Jesus robes. I wonder how the Amish and Mennonite styles of dress were settled on as being the right thing. Yet the men still tuck in their shirts.
Another thing to consider is this is for those women who have been sexually abused, either as adults or kids. When you are seated and men walk by with their crotches practically in your face, it can be quite traumatic. I wish the other side of the coin was considered.
I can totally relate to your concerns with men. Although I did not touch on modesty for men here, I still do agree with what you have pointed out. Men can dress very provocatively as well. As a woman writing it I focus on my responsibility because I will only have to answer for myself and what I taught my daughters while at home. You have very valid points and I appreciate your comments. It is refreshing to see other people out there also seeing some of these things. May God bless you! ~Erin
Refreshing to read about modesty! I agree with Erin about dressing little girls modestly. The going-trend may be cute on a 5 year old, but when are you going to change her wardrobe? The minute she starts developing? It’s not going to go over very well. We have three little girls and we are often given hand-me-down clothing from other families, but it isn’t everything that is appropriate.
To Amy, I think the reason women are told specifically in the Bible to dress modestly and men are not is because, in general, men are much more visual than women. Some women, maybe because of their circumstances will be more affected by a man who is not appropriately dressed, but in general, we tend to be more aroused by touch, and men by what they see.
What I saw about the plain dress was a Greek translation error– See, the Mennonite and Amish wear a folded over “cape” dress and that is what the early churches were told to wear. The verse we see in the bible doesnt mention the garment but rather the purpose that one would wear it.
I meant I was always the odd one in school.
It was so refreshing to read this. I was born and raised into a modestly dressing family. I was always the odd one but I’m so thankful I was taught modesty! I think you are doing an awesome job. I’m really enjoying your blog!