Achieving Contentment

This past weekend at church we learned about Thankfulness.  Our pastor was trying to help us figure out how to become more thankful and the answer is in achieving contentment, of course.  I learned there are 4 different steps to achieve contentment.

Gratitude is the ability to take the gifts that God gives to us and really experience joy in each of them.  There are so many gifts, but we tend to look at our lot and see what is lacking.  We miss a lot of the simple joys of life when we fail to see all our abundant gifts from God.

Step 1 in Contentment…Appreciate Imperfect gifts.

  • Imperfect bodies
  • Imperfect spouses
  • Imperfect kids
  • Imperfect parents
  • Imperfect home
  • Imperfect health
  • Imperfect church
  • Imperfect friends
  • Imperfect job

Of course, I know that all these things are imperfect and that Jesus is the only one that is perfect, yet we want perfection.  We strive for it.  I know I have been a perfectionist most of my life, striving for excellence.  Even though I know I will never arrive to a point of perfection, I want my life to be perfect.  I think we all do.

When we got married, I realized that I was marrying an imperfect soul but I know I have often grumbled about my husband because of his many imperfections.  No matter how imperfect your spouse is, there are spouses out there that are way worse.  I have seen it.  There are men out there that beat their wives each day and make them do terrible things.  Or they run around on them, abuse their children, etc…

Over the years I learned to really be thankful for my husband because he was kind, honorable, honest, giving, and good to his neighbors.  Even though I know he is such a precious gift, I do slip from time to time.  Why is that?  Why do we start picking at each other and pointing out more of those imperfections?

It is in practicing weighing your gifts in a balance.  Like this…

  • Our house is crooked and falling apart—but at least we have a home when others do not!
  • When your husband comes home late from work and he is tired and can’t get to all your many needs—Thank God he came home and that he provides for your financial needs!
  • When your health is not great—thank God you are alive!
  • When the kids are fighting and they drive you crazy—thank God they are not dying from some incurable disease!

Everyone is happy when everything is going great!  But what about when things seem to go wrong?  What then?

Step 2 in Achieving Contentment…
Learn to have gratitude for the things that bring fear or frustration.
For example, when I had a major nerve injury, my life changed completely.  I would lie awake all night long crying in pain.  I can remember the anguish and suffering it caused but also the contentment it produced.  It forced me to cling to God every second.  I remember lying in that hospital bed writhing in pain and praying for another minute.  The burning pain made me think of HELL.  Made me appreciate that it was only my foot that was burning and not my whole body.

I had a lot of time lying there for 9 months to think about things.  I thought surely as a sinner I deserve to go to hell but Christ saved me.  And interestingly, when people would ask me how I was doing, even though I was in the worst pain imaginable, I would respond, “Better than I deserve!”

And now that I am feeling better, it makes everything so much sweeter because I had experienced such pain!  So I often praise God for those years of pain because I truly appreciate my ability to serve my family all the more.  Pain and suffering, going through periods of hardship changes you!  You sometimes do not appreciate what you have until you lose it.

Death is something we all hate, but it brings us to a place where we look back, think of all we have, all those we love, and hold them dear.  We often live with regret, “if only I would have spent more time, or appreciated more.” It is a wake up call.  If only we could forever stay awake to gratitude!

Step 3 in Achieving Contentment…
Learn to be grateful by expressing it.
We are trained to express our gratitude when we FEEL thankful.  We can push ourselves to grow spiritually in this area if we express our gratitude even when we DON’T FEEL thankful.

It pushes out of our comfort zone when we say thanks when we are feeling sad, or angry, or bitter, or lonely.  All these feelings are negative.  We start a bitter pattern of negativity and being thankful is the last thing on our list to worry about.

I was so perplexed as we drove home after church when my kids started “Being Thankful”.  They listened and we talked about what we learned at church.  I mentioned that it seems like there is a lot of negativity in our home.  They are always tearing each other down and I pointed out that we ought to be thankful.  I said “Let’s start our day with some gratitude,  Some people in the world have it so much worse than we do.”

One of the kids piped up in the back of the car, “I am thankful I am not as ugly as Junior!”  and then Junior comes back laughing, “Well I am thankful that I am a better singer than you!”  Everyone in the back of the car busts out laughing because they actually think he sings horrible!  Wow, this did not work very well.

I was feeling like I was in a strange world as the insults kept racing back and forth in the name of gratitude!  We came home, sat around the table, and said a prayer of thanksgiving—ah, yeah, we did that.  Then more negativity.  The kids laughing and making fun of each other.  I just kept my peace—like a pressure canner building steam!  Then the dog busts into the kitchen with dirty wet paws from running in the creek.  My husband says, “That stupid dog!”  Then my top blew!  I said, “It’s not enough that you all rip each other apart, now the dog?!!!”  I threw a chair across the room in my anger.  I had it!

Negativity is like a poison it slowly drips into your vein like an IV, and you eventually get so toxic that it can cause a chain reaction and you can become negative too.  And the devil knows your buttons.  It is very embarrassing to admit that I am so imperfect too!  I blow up!  I get frustrated.  I can get affected by negativity.  I spent the next couple days just mad and letting everything get to me!  My internet was not working, every day seemed it was full of inconveniences, and obstacles that were beyond my control.  And then a phone call.  My mother called and she was frustrated about something.  That through me over the edge and I was crying and making even more a fool out of myself.  Of course, I hurt my mom in the process, which is not very nice!

After I finally saw what I was becoming, I had to get a grip!  I had to start being thankful!  I was just focusing on the negative!  I allowed my feelings to control me, instead of allowing Christ to be in control.  I did something very odd after this bout.  I picked up the phone and called a friend.  I did not feel like it at all.  I wanted to keep sulking.  But I picked up the phone and decided I wanted to be a blessing to her.  I wanted to take my focus off of myself and put the focus on her for a moment.

I asked her how she was doing, and she said “I am okay.”  She then said, “I did not have a headache today.”  It changed the course of my entire week!  She has migraines all the time and suffers a lot.  I have been trying to help her with some natural stuff to take care of her headaches and finally she is feeling a tiny bit better!  It made my day.  I was so happy for her feeling better.  When others hurt, I hurt.  I feel the pain.  When others are happy and positive, it works also as an IV.  The drips of positivity go into my vein like the anecdote to that poison of negativity.  It cures it.  I got my focus off of myself and it made me feel so thankful for HER!

That is a way to get out of the rut, get out of our comfort zone, and just make someone’s day by focusing on them instead of yourself.

Rate yourself…
If we would rate ourselves on a scale of one to ten, what level of thankfulness are you?  One being the least thankful and ten being the most.

What are you today?

Now after you make that honest scoring of yourself, take one minute to list all the things your are thankful for…
One by one.
When I did this, I had about 25 things.  I could have kept going, but my time was up.

Are you more thankful?  I am!  

Expressing and writing down the things you are thankful for is like lifting weights to a body builder.  You get stronger in your contentment!

​It is a practice we should all do each day, even when we do not feel like it.  Just take a minute, just a minute each morning when we wake to think of all the things we can think of that God has graciously given to us in that one tiny space of time.  And maybe another minute we could do this exercise as we lay our head back down on our pillow each night.  It actually helps us to be more thankful when we remember all that we have.

There is so much to be thankful for.

Lastly, Step 4 to achieving Contentment…
Devote yourself to praising God!
Read the Psalms.  “Oh Give Thanks…” is mentioned 26 times in Psalm 136!
When we acknowledge all of our blessings and thank God for each of them we are creating a lifestyle of worship!
“Thank you God for”…

  • My eyesight to behold all your beautiful creation
  • My ears to hear the songs of birds and laughter of my children
  • A house to call home
  • A loving family
  • Food to eat
  • The ability to taste my food and enjoy it
  • People who love me
  • Your word
  • The ability to read and learn many things
  • My health
  • Salvation in Jesus Christ!  The greatest gift of all!

“O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.”
Psalm 136:1

Keeper of the Homestead is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

Related Posts

7 thoughts on “Achieving Contentment”

  1. It all seems like a dream to me, I never thought that I will live on earth before the year runs out. I have been suffering from a deadly disease (HIV) for the past 5 years now; I had spent a lot of money going from one places to another, from churches to churches, hospitals have been my home every day residence. Constant checks up have been my hobby not until this faithful day, I was searching through the internet, I saw a testimony on how DR.Antogia helped someone in curing his HIV disease, quickly I copied his email which is antogiatraditionalhealer@yahoo.com just to give him a test I spoke to him, he asked me to do some certain things which I did, he told me that he is going to provide the herbal cure to me, which he did, then he asked me to go for medical checkup after some days after using the herbal cure, I was free from the deadly disease, he only asked me to post the testimony through the whole world, faithfully am doing it now, please brothers and sisters, he is great, I owe him in return. if you are having a similar problem he is the best to seek for help.

  2. It is so easy to be thankful when I try to imagine what some Christians are going through right now. I have such an easy life, my children are home with me every day, I can prepare a nice meal each evening for my husband. I am so thankful for a place to create a home in for my family.
    “Must I be carried to the skies on silvery beds of ease?
    While others sought to win the prize and sailed through bloody seas”..
    Thank you,Erin,for being so honest,I really need to constantly take my thoughts captive and be thankful.

  3. Dearest Erin
    Amen.
    Thank you for the lovely teaching and reminder.
    I have to say you make me feel my family is ‘normal’, they would react to being thankful exactly the same way as yours. And I would most probably react the same way ad you did. Thank God for wisdom and victory and I agree, it starts with being content.
    God bless you.

  4. Preach on Sister! I needed every word! This has been a week of days spent feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in it! Today I will lay aside the sin of discontent and embrace the imperfect ME. Thank you for reminding me to thank God for those imperfections, so I will lean on Him and not myself! Have a Blessed day…

  5. Wonderful post, precious Erin! Yes, suffering does make things much clearer. A little over 2 weeks ago, I spent several days in the ICU, then back in the hospital, then urgent care several times, now drawing blood every other day. My veins are so scarred that the woman had a hard time getting blood. Yet, I am so thankful to live another day! He is so good and there is so much goodness around. My husband was the definition of love; being by my side throughout, canceling a business trip so he could shop and do all the housework for me. What a blessing he is in my life! My children and friends calling and texting every day to make sure I was okay. My 85 year old parents helping. Going through suffering sometimes helps you to see how many things there are to be thankful for, especially the loved ones in your life. May we continue to grow to look more like Him!

  6. I needed your words today, thank you. After a frustrating week you made me realise that I am so thankful, that my family survived a car crash last Sunday, with minor injuries. Thankful that our car was hit and not a cyclist and hopeful the other driver has learnt a lesson not to drive a car while arguing with a child. I am thankful that God leads you to write such wise words. God Bless you and your family, Diane x

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top
Share
Tweet
Pin
Email