What are you Holding On To?

We have already talked about how our mind is similar to a computer.  What you type in there, whether it is truth or a lie, your mind cannot distinguish the difference most times.  It just processes the information.  We have learned that our words DO make a difference!

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
~Henry Ford

Choose wisely what your thoughts are!  If you tell yourself you CAN’T do something, you won’t ever do it!  And that is a FACT!

Mindset Matters!
When  a plane goes down they check the little Black Box.  In that Black Box is stored everything that happened or was said on that plane.  We also have a black box and one day it will be opened.  What will it say?  Remember this…

“But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak,
​they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.”
Matthew 12:36

I have to remind myself of this verse daily.  What am I saying, either silently or aloud?  Does it matter?  I know I will have to give an account to my creator one day!  It is easier to control what comes out of the mouth than what is just spoken in my mind.

Do you have a plan to GROW?
Which emotion is stronger?
Your DESIRE TO GROW or…
one of these FEARS…

  • FEAR of the FACTS
  • FEAR of the UNKNOWN
  • FEAR of being OVER EXTENDED on RESOURCES
  • FEAR of what OTHERS THINK
  • FEAR of PUSHING OTHERS AWAY

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power,
and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7

The opposite of FAITH is FEAR!

Here is a fact about FEAR…
You could be having a great day and you are told some tragedy happened…
Within 5 seconds your heart is racing and all of your emotions go from normal to ramping up to crazy heights.  What if the same person who told you of this tragedy was just joking?  Your body still shakes because chemicals are released by the response to that news you were given.  Even though you knew it was just a joke, which is not nice of someone to joke about, your body has to come down from that high and surge of adrenaline.

And that, my dear, is an emotional roller coaster ride!  It is certainly not good for our health and that is why they say in health studies that stress is a killer!  Emotions influence our reactions to situations.

FEAR is real — we get good at how we handle it by our habits.

What if we have become an Emotional Basket case?  I used to be one of those!  Things could set me off!  Especially since I had made some unhealthy habit to how I reacted to things that did not go smoothly.  Here is an example…when I would accidentally rip the garbage bag as I was trying to pull it carefully out of the bin, and I began to FEAR that the garbage was going to spill on the floor, I would just dump the entire bag over the floor.  I had a habit of trying to make things worse!

God gives us the tools to have a sound mind but do we use those tools?

Years ago, that happened, and I reacted by dumping the trash on the floor because I allowed my emotions to ramp up to the point I just felt there was no use.  My husband walked into the room and saw the trash everywhere and wondered what happened.  I said, “I don’t know.”  And he quickly returned, “Looks like there is more to the story,” with a grin on his face.  The kids started to laugh and told him that mom was fighting with the garbage and the garbage won!  Oh how we all started laughing.

I use that story as an example because when something goes wrong, it is easy to overreact and get our emotions involved, but really it was not that big of a deal.  Yeah, the bag ripped, not the end of the world.  My husband was wise and stable enough to find humor in the situation.  His emotions did not get involved.  Our minds are so powerful.  The kids were just waiting with eyes wide open to figure out what they were supposed to do and how they were supposed to react, and their dad’s reaction set a new tone.

Stuff happens like that every day around here.  We have spills, chaos, arguing, the car doesn’t start, I get lost on the way somewhere, someone calls and they would love to start some drama with me, and the list goes on and on.  That is my life!  Do not think you are alone!  I seldom have a day that is just a bed of roses filled with sounds of harps playing, and children hanging on to my every word as though I have all the answers.  NOPE!  I have a multitude of things that do not go as planned or to my satisfaction.  I have to face each conflict by the grace of God.  I have to stop.  Access the situation.  Evaluate whether it is something that is life or death.  I have to decide how I talk to my mind.

Everyone talks to themselves and some do this out loud.
Scenario…
The pot is boiling over, the kids are fighting, you trip on a toy that has been left on the floor, you notice you put your shirt on backwards, etc…
You say, “Wow, if this is any indication what my day is going to be like, I am in trouble!”
or, “I am off to a really bad start!”
or maybe you say this, “It is going to be a bad day!”

You just programmed your mind to have a really bad day!  Some of you have programmed your mind to have a bad life in general!  Nothing goes right for you because you accepted that lie!

Instead you can take a deep breath and say, “These things are small things and I am not going to allow this to be the pattern of the rest of my day.”
“I am going to have a great day!”  “This is not a big deal!”

And we all have people in our lives that are just plain negative!  We can carry a lot of bitterness and baggage through our life because of something someone said to us, or what they did to hurt us!  The sad thing is that when we do this, we are only harming ourselves.  Not them!  Just because you are miserable does not make them hurt or feel bad.  They don’t know!

And it OFFENDS us.  We let their words cause an emotional response, we talk about it, we relive it every time, and we just keep ourselves from living a happy life as a result.

Some people say negative, hurtful things because they were never taught how to love!  They were never given love so they surely can’t give what they do not have!

Our old mindset would say, “Why did she say that?  How inconsiderate and selfish of her!”
​We can change our mindset and say, “She is not aware of it!”   

Jesus said this when His own people reviled, persecuted, and gave their hurtful approval of his sentence to death…

“Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
Luke 23:34

You have a choice…
You can either forgive or you can hold on for dear life!
About a month ago, as I was FEARING what I was becoming.  I FEARED that I was becoming hardened by life and sour.  I just felt so much pain.
My husband said, “This is what happens every time you see negativity, you HOLD ON TO IT FOR DEAR LIFE!  And everything good, well, you just let that fly in and out and you forget it quickly.  Instead you need to HOLD ON TO THE POSITIVE and wonderful things for DEAR LIFE!  HOLD THEM!  Switch it around, let the negative stuff fly in and out quickly, forget it!  HOLD ON to all the good and rejoice in that!”I said, “How do I do that? Can you give me a 3 step formula?”
He said “You have seen STAR WARS?

  • “STEP ONE:  Identify the Enemy. The negative thoughts.  This is much like the good guys in Star Wars how they identify the enemy.  If you do not identify the enemy they will move in for the attack and your ship will get destroyed.
  • STEP TWO:  Lock onto the target and fire!  Just like how they blow the enemy star ship out of the sky, you need to blast those negative thoughts before they have a chance to attack your mind.
  • STEP THREE:  Fuel up!  Every ship needs fuel to run.  The mind needs positive things to be able to function properly as well.  A mind full of negativity will make a negative person.  Focus on those things that you should be thankful for!  A heart full of gratitude!  A mind full of positivity will make a person more productive, kind, loving, compassionate, and effective.”

I giggled when he was telling me this because it was so cute and so practical at the same time.  It changed my attitude in a snap.  I thought, “I can do that!”  I can blast those bad, negative, hurtful thoughts out of the sky!!!  And that is just what I do now and it works.

Next time someone has an opinion of you, including yourself, that is untrue, you first need to recognize it.  Then DO NOT LET IT ENTER into your mind!  And be PICKY about who you pour into and who you keep company with.  Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33).  Be careful not to be led into their own self destructive thinking and conversation.  It is better to surround yourself with people that want to grow and live in the law of kindness, charity, mercy, and grace, just as our heavenly father instructs us…

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Philippians 4:8

0 thoughts on “What are you Holding On To?

  1. Thanks, Erin. Love the Star Wars tips. My husband has been saying the same as your husband for years, and it has fianally started to sink in. The hurtful words or actions slip past the giver, but I drug them with me almost half my life and added to it along the way – what a waste of time and energy. Victory in Jesus is so sweet. I pray my children will notice a changed mama, and avoid the same pitfalls. Your post is so timely. Thank you for being so real and honest. I have enjoyed reading your book also. Tell your family thank you for letting their mother/wife share their life with the readers – those stories are a blessing too. Blessings to you and your family.

  2. This is so good, I just printed it out to have my teenage daughter read. I have been struggling with fear for longer than I remember. It is a fear of peoples reactions. I hate it and hate myself for it. Thank you for your honestly and open ness in your posts. They help me. God bless you!

  3. Dearest Erin
    I read everything you write and try to put all into practice.
    My biggest struggle in life is not to think that I am lazy. I always suffered from low blood sugar and my mamma constantly would try to make me realize that I am lazy and I need to change that. So today I can work as hard as ever and still think I am lazy if I feel like not doing something. I never feel satisfy by what I do unless it was perfectly done and stays perfect.
    As a mother you know this is a hard thing to make possible.
    Just the other day my husband asked me this question, how is it possible for an artistic person to be a perfectionist.
    It is hard but of course possible. The other question he asked me, he said that he sees me as a to-go girl, but because of my soft heart I became a servant. Which is also not bad, but I do feel that I am constantly living two lives and O can’t choose which is the best for me. So I feel as if I am in a war with myself the whole time.
    Thank God Jesus helped me to overcome most of this struggle.
    Thank you for your guidance and teachings.
    God is good.
    I pray that He always renew my mind and through Bible reading and meditation this the best way.

  4. Hi Erin
    Such a timely post! Fear cripples to the point of being a spectator in your own life. Your husband’s answer is spot on. Thanks.

  5. A pastors wife told me that concerning our thoughts, if it comes from Christ it will bring peace if it brings negativity its from the enemy. We really have to realize that our thoughts can be wrong and that Christ can take emotions that we do not know how to handle. I turn bad emotions over to him all the time. The amazing thing that happens when I do that is that I will actually forget about whats going on. If there are some Corrie Ten Boom readers her devotionals are amazing. Let God make something Beautiful out of all the trials we have had.

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