Community Starts in the Home

The photo above is of Miles and I.  I was hiking up a cliff holding my baby boy.  My, has time gone by!  Miles is nearly 14 years old.  I took care of 5 little ones all by myself most of the time when my husband was out earning a living.  I would take my troops on many adventures in the wilderness.  I would haul a little one on my back, climbing over stumps and rocks.  Setting up camp, making a fire and cooking some weenies over the flames.  Oh, the kids have memories to build from.  Miles said to me the other day, “Man, I wish I would have appreciated mom when she was normal.”  I heard him saying that, but did not realize I was not “normal”.  He said, “Mom, when you could hike and race me across the grass, jump higher than me on the trampoline, ride horses, ski, ice skate, teach me karate, wrestle me down, give me piggy back rides, I am sad those days are over.”  Then Molly said, “I can’t even remember mom that way.”  Yes, I was that way at one time.  I was full of adventure and fun.  Before I married Mark, I hiked 3 days on the Inca Trial in the Andes Mountains.  My hiking fun days are over and I miss it so much because I am still so young and I have only a short time until the kids are grown.  I feel like they are missing out on so much because of my limitation.  In one moment life can change.  One little stitch.  I used to run a wedding photography business where I could climb up a tree or cliff to get the “shot”.  I could do almost anything, run the homestead, milk the family cow, take care of little ones, cook, can, butcher, film, photograph, have meetings with clients, homeschool, run, bike, hike, keep a perfectly clean home, I was Super Mom.  Poster child Super Mom.  People still think I do a lot.  But this is nothing to what I was able to do before I was injured.  I do my best.  I try to stay positive, count all my blessings.  It is not easy, but I do not want to be a failure.
I have had my second nerve relapse of this year.  It flattens me out for a couple weeks.  The nerves flare up and it becomes very hard to function.  The doctor said I could get this lidocaine IV that will flow through my body to get the fire put out.  Then I should be able to start back to normal pain again.  My normal pain is pretty bad to start with.  To be honest, I am in so much pain, I can not do much of anything.  Every step I take adds up.  If I walk to the kitchen, I pay for it.  I want to be able to cook and do all the things that housewives do, but I am limited.  Thankfully, the kids have been doing all the work.  I feel like a bad example, when I just sit there and order everyone around.  Just trying to figure out what to do.  I do not ever want to seem ungrateful, or one to complain, because I know there are such worse situations than I could ever know.  We are not really welcome among the Amish people.  I talked with my amish neighbor who is a very young mother.  She sat and listened to me and just cried.  She knows that the amish are just very exclusive.  It is not right, but just how it is.  Usually, when one of the community is down, they all come to help nurse you back to health.  They only call to see if I am well enough to drive them to town.  I always drive them for free because I want to be neighborly.  I told her, “I have a wonderful husband who loves me even though I sit in a chair most of the day, I have 5 wonderful kids who run the home in my stead, I have Jesus who accepts and loves me more than I could understand, what more could I need than that!!!!!”  It is true, I have so much to be thankful for.  Life surely isn’t perfect, but love carries us through.  I do understand how many of you feel on the post about wanting to be around like minded people.  How you would all love to have community.  Community, I have learned, starts in the home.  If you all work together, you can get the job done.  Look at how my kids are carrying me now.  How they work.  They know how to make meals, how to can, how to clean.  They are my support system, my community.  Without their help, I would be a failure.  It is such a fulfilling thing to see that what you raise your kids with now, can teach them how to really care about others throughout their lives.  I wonder if we will ever have the kind of fellowship in community like the Amish have, on this side of heaven, but as long as we have each other, we can make it.  Hope this encourages all you other people out there in the same season of life.

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