A Woman Was Designed to Pour…

My husband is a man of very few words.  When I set aside my busy daily blogging, he said to me…”God created the woman for pouring.  They are ‘all or none’ type vessels.  Keeping a home, loving your husband and children is a huge undertaking and it takes ALL of a woman to fill.  That is why God created the woman to pour of herself completely because he knew it took all of her heart to care for her family.  When you take the modern woman who finds a million other things to pour into, things, important things suffer.  There is only so much in that heart to pour.  Once she has poured herself out, there is nothing remaining and that is when the family suffers and why our country is in the state that it is in.  It all starts in the home.”  I found his words so perfect.  

What does it mean to pour?
pour |pôr|verb

  • flow rapidly in a steady stream.
  • prepare and serve (a drink): she poured out a cup of tea
  • (of people or things) come or go in a steady stream and in large numbers: letters poured in.
  • (pour something out) express one’s feelings or thoughts in a full and unrestrained way.

As described in my illustration, each cup represents the things we have before us.  They are vessels to pour into from one vessel represented as a pitcher.  There are many things we pour into in life.  I have had times where there were dozens of glasses to fill.  The only trouble is that I only had so much in my heart to pour.  If I was fair, pouring equally, the glasses would, at best, be about half way full. 

I know I can attest to being “all or nothing”, and I have had to train myself to learn balance.  It took me literally my lifetime to learn this.  That is why I wrote a book, in an effort to help others that may struggle with the same. 

Everything I ever built up, invented, created—all my greatest efforts to make something prosperous has crumbled.  Praise God he has never allowed me to prosper by the works of my hands.  He keeps me constantly clinging, constantly in a state of sincere need of HIM.  What would I want with a life of comfort and ease?  I guess I would search for Him less and at the end of days there would be less to HOPE for. 

God gave me many gifts as a child.  I could do so many beautiful things with my hands whether it was music, painting, drawing, writing, or theatre.  The confusing thing when I grew into a woman was that I thought I was not being a good steward if I would not use those gifts.  It was a lie from the devil to distract me from the most precious gift I was given.  

He gave me the gift of being a wife and mother. I have now realized that it is not bad to lay aside the talents I have to pour into the precious gifts that God has given me in this season of my life.  What I pour into them has eternal value.  

Being abused as a child made me search for validation and worth by the things I could master and create.  I felt I was only worth something if I did something honorable in the sight of man to make a difference.  Bringing healing to the broken was something that made me feel like I was doing something worthy.  But there is nothing more worthy and filled with validation than being a wife and mother because God created me for that purpose.  All those other things that I could create will be destroyed by moth or rust, but the souls of my husband and children will endure forever.  What I pour into them matters.

 

I realize it has been a very long time since you have heard from me and that is because I am honoring my word to put my family first.  It has not been easy for me to transition.  The first few weeks I felt like a fish out of water.  Everything I touched, did, or looked at pulled at my heart.  If I was just living life, I felt an urge to snap a photo, document, or write about it.  Somehow old habits die hard.  

Each time I would take a deep breath and tell myself that I did not need to focus on that.  I know it may seem very odd to all of you.  It may even seem pathetic.  It seems easy when you really think about it.  Like, what is wrong with her?  But I am telling you this because I finally figured out something very interesting.  For months I had this aching in my heart, searching for what my purpose really is and why I do the things I do.  

I think it is a natural drive to want to help people, to pour into others, and in turn you feel like you are doing something to make the world a better place and to help the broken hearted.  Although Christ has healed my broken heart and gave me a new life in Him, I have often thought I could help others by telling my stories.  These hurting people will read my stories, and they may find comfort.  It was a blessing to know that I encouraged some and that some people were helped by my stories, while others would not receive the same wonderful healing I had received because I CAN”T do the work that only the blood of Christ is effectual to accomplish.

That is the truth.  I am so thankful that God is a REAL and gracious GOD.  He is able to take our ashes and make them into something beautiful.  The only validation I need is in that truth.  The validation of being a child of GOD, a mother, a wife, a homemaker by the grace of God, that is what matters.  I matter to them.  They NEED me.  I am starting to see some great results since I gave up blogging.  The kids are gathering around me again, and it is so encouraging.  The precious gift of fellowship of my children. 

We are moving into a simple life away from all the pulls and demands of a culture that is never satisfied. 

It shows how patient, how merciful God really is to reveal things to us before it becomes too late.  For some of the others young mothers that just do not heed the still small voice, they will one day wake up, even after they made their big walk of fame and glory, after they have helped a million mothers, and they make a fortune along the way, they will also wonder what I have wondered these past months.  We wonder these things because God puts a desire in our hearts to minister to our families.  And when they notice that their kids are all grown, moved far away, don’t need them anymore, they will mourn for that loss.  For when they gained the whole world but they lost the souls of their children, which is a risk they are taking, they will regret not listening to that still small voice when it was whispering in their ears to pour into those that He had given and entrusted to their care alone.  

We are moving to an old run down homestead—one that we can call our very own.   My husband started feeling better and was ready to do construction full time, a trade he is a master of.  He loves the trade and wants to pass along that knowledge to his growing boys!  It was right at the perfect time that I was ready to make his dreams mine!  God is truly a miracle maker!  He is going to be restoring an old building to make it our home and I can just feel the hours of fellowship within those walls away from all the distractions of technology, peers, and drama!  It will be us homesteading and living life.  At first, I was thinking I would film him making this barn a home, but I did not do my normal trying to convince him of how many people we could help.  I just slowly asked with a secret prayer in my heart that this could be ours without the broadcasting fanfare.  He said, “No, I want this to be our private adventure, to live a quiet life.”  Wow, I was so thrilled that God heard my heart and blessed me through the voice of my leader.  It amazes me.  

The kids are planning for the farmer’s market what vegetables they will grow on the land to sell.  It is a very exciting adventure.  One that will surpass anything I could have created with my hands. One that I know I will pour my whole heart into.

I can hardly hold back the tears even now thinking about how much God has been merciful and has given us this grand new adventure…

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace,
that we may obtain mercy,
and find grace to help in time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16

Here is a post from a dear older sister in the Lord who published a piece of my letter on her blog Always Learning.  She is a Godly woman who waited to minister to women with her blog until she was out of the busy season of motherhood.  http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/01/god-created-women-for-pouring.html

0 thoughts on “A Woman Was Designed to Pour…

  1. Thank you for the I’m so excited and happy with you! I, too have listened to His voice. I have deleted my blogs’. You read right. Two blogs!
    We have much to rejoice about! I will praise Him and thank Him with you!

  2. I’m so proud of you and your decision. I’m officially an “older woman” and I’ve often been concerned about young mother’s who are wise and have so much to share, but take much time away from their young families to do so.
    My youngest is 23 and I still have to take time away from blogging and writing because family comes first. My last post was 12/22. Last week my 23 year old said, Mom you need to post more often than that!
    True, but the holidays, a week of family illness, a 10 day trip, a broken laptop, and what got dropped was posting. I have no regrets. I spent my time on what really mattered to me and I’ll get back to posting when there is time.
    I still have lots of unfinished writing projects, photo albums, etc., but putting family first is always a good choice.
    Well done!

  3. It sounds like a wonderful adventure & as much as I would love to follow along, I wholeheartedly admire you for taking this step away from this crazy internet world. I hope you will leave up your posts as there are so many useful ideas ( I’m so thankful to have your book)! May God richly bless you as you step forward in His plan for your life!
    Blessings
    Renata:)

  4. I truly enjoyed reading this, and shared it to my facebook page at One Acre Farming. It was spoken perfectly and hits home here at my own home.This was my first visit to your blog, I have it now bookmarked!

  5. Thank you so much for this post. I am a new follower and I cannot tell you how timely this post was for me. I don’t blog but homeschooling is my passion. I was a public school teacher before I began homeschooling my children. I love to lesson plan! I also love to clean and organize. Many times I have sent my children away saying, “I can’t play (read, stop to look, etc.) because I’m busy.” I’ve unknowingly sent the message that everything else is more important than they are. I’ve also been sensing that still small voice telling me, reminding me that my children don’t belong to me and they’re only here for a season. Thank you again. May you and your family be greatly blessed on your new adventure. May you find greater joy and fulfillment in Our Lord as you faithfully pour into your family. Be blessed.

  6. Thank you, thank you, for this. I have your book, though haven’t gotten too far into it. Minus the abuse, I feel that we are the same. I have the same Type A tendencies, and for the past 3 years have been endulging them, with my husband’s blessing – which has been unfortunate. I told him that sometimes I need him to tell me “no” – and because I’m stubborn, he might need to be stronger with me. But he’s Mr. Steady, with a tad of Visionary thrown in. All he wants is for me to be happy, so he lets me do most anything I want. And I’m not always wise. This week our church is praying and fasting and for a long time I’ve known I need to change things. The house is a wreck, my younger children need more discipline, and I’m tired of being rushed, stressed, and cranky. I’m sure the family can agree that they are sick of that, too! We have some big life changes coming in the next year or two – similar to yours. I can’t see how it’s all going to work financially, so my tendency is to want to fix it myself by earning the money somehow. But I know that’s going to create more chaos. I’m SO blessed to be able to stay home and homeschool my kids! I need to fully embrace that – again – like I did when my now-grown kids were little. My younger kids deserve it. I’ll pray for you in this new stage of life. If we don’t hear from you much – that’s a good thing for your family!

    • Erin
      I read your post with a mixture of sadness and understanding, I understand your reasons and following the prompting of the Lord but I will miss your blog and your presence on the web so much!!. Will you be taking the whole blog off including shutting down the store etc????
      ****posted this again as my first time didn’t appear to post apart from my name!
      Blessings to you and your family
      Helen UK

  7. What a wonderful dream! We are living that dream. Back in 1989 my father-in-law had the same dream. We now live in a barn house that he and my husband built. At the time we thought he was crazy. I was a little upset because I had little ones and didn’t want my hubby working on it evenings and weekends. Two years later it was finished, and where my husband once fed herds of Angus beef cows, we now raise our children. About 2 yrs after it was completed my mother-in-law passed away very unexpectedly. Dad remarried and sold it to us. So much time has flown by. Now we are starting to re-model it. It is a beautiful life, and my husband has learned so much from working with his Dad. All through his childhood and after he grew up. May God bless this work, and I know your whole family will be blessed through this! ~Diane

  8. Dear Erin, a beautiful written piece. It is so timely, I had been praying for help in talking to a friend about her family and her needs. This has helped a lot. I wish you and your family well and I pray that your health remains good. If possible please leave your articles accessible as I still read them and pass them onto friends who are in need of encouragement. God Bless You, Diane x

  9. Thank you for these words Erin! Truly a blessing to this homeschooling mama of three! God bless you and your tribe!
    Jaime from Colorado

  10. Thanks for sharing this, may He increase you abundantly and acquire ideas of encouragements to Gods people.

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