Of course I just wrote a very RAW blog post.  It took a lot of courage for me to write those words.  I did get some really encouraging feedback and I also knew that I would open myself also up to those that would judge me.  And what do you do in those situations?  I know!  I have to give you a little back story before I give you the answer to that question.I am going to be REAL with you again.  Satan comes as an angel of light.  And if your button is that of trying to be more righteous, well, let's just say, he can lead you straight to hell in your pursuit to be unworldly.  He is crafty.  It is his job to get God's people to focus on everything else but Jesus.  Do not be fooled.

About 3 months ago, I was on top of the world.  I met a family that was so like minded.  They were very conservative and they were like my life boat even though they lived 8 hours from our home.  I saw that family as my way to keep my kids conservative.  Their kids were amazingly fun and my kids really enjoyed their company.  When I told the family about our struggles living in a very main stream community where people were caught up in the fashions of the world, music, etc…

They took us under their wing.  They seemed so "normal" and we could see they were so committed to Christ!  My husband allowed me to even travel away from home to spend time with them after they fasted for our family, and we knew they truly cared for our family.  We trusted them.  My friend took my girls and lovingly encouraged them to wear long modest skirts and loose shirts.  How they were causing a stumbling block to other boys if they would dress like the world.  It seemed like we found a river of life.  One that would feed into our kids of all the things we had brought them up with.

Because of that friendship our kids were more willing to look into their hearts, examine their own standards.  It was turning out to be a very beautiful situation.  I was praising God for bringing these people into our lives even though I had a fear that they would reject us just like other conservative families have in the past.  I expressed my fears to them after my husband and I read all the standards of their small church.  We understand that people who have such strict standards have to be so careful who they are around.  Bad company corrupts good morals.  As hard as it was, I was willing to let them go!

Over the years we have been through many situations that taught us about our place in the battle against the world and sin.  We went from plain groups, and even ones that required the silliest things.  When we did not agree, the leaders would talk to us and eventually cast us out.  Mark and I and our little flock of babies, were evil doers, and we were even told we were wolves in sheep's clothing!  I had this same cult leader call me on the phone and tell me I was going to Hell and if I wanted to escape hell, all I needed to do was leave my husband!!!   My husband, thankfully, has a gift of discernment.  He is able to see the RED FLAGS when they come.  He sees the traps and snares of the devil, EVEN when they come in a cloak of pure white that is undefiled from the world.  There is a real danger, and I feel we need to share this from our heart...Here is the thing we had noticed over the years of our experience…

The standards are so different across the board.  In our plain community most people would not measure up to the standards of the 99% of conservative Christians, and yet they will tell you they are NOT a works based religion.  They teach Jesus and His blood that covers sin.  They won't even SELL to me!  Even when I was dressed in my most drab, plain dresses, my hair slicked back in a bun, apron pinned around my long drab dress, with no make-up, no outward form of with world's pride.  They said, "We won't sell to your people!"  My people?!  What was I, a sinner?  I said, "If we are saved we are all IN CHRIST, therefore we are a part of one body!"  And she said, "NO, you are of the world!"  She pointed to my head and because it was not covered, she told me also to leave my husband if he would not adhere to the scriptures pertaining to the head covering.  I was told I needed to listen to GOD, not my husband.

Most conservative Christians would be very immodest in the light of another groups idea of modesty, I have seen it!  To wear your head uncovered, and when you cover your head you must wear it to cover all the way around your head and neck too, anything else would be seductive.  Some wear just a little bonnet, well, I have seen groups that say that is not sufficient to cover the head and to prove modesty.  To show your neck at all would be seductive.  Then your arms, your elbows, that is a very seductive way to dress.  You can’t wear fancy colors, you have to wear them drab and plain.  Because it is worldly to do otherwise, and very prideful. It is very wrong to bear arms.  that is sinful to take up arms and guns, and you may NEVER protect your family under any circumstance.  Your home must be plain, you must not have decorations, because that is just like adorning your body with tattoos and piercings.  You must leave them bare with only white colors.  You must not drive vehicles because that is worldly and you could drive to the bar.  See what that leads to!  And no musical instruments because that will lead to rock and roll music.  Oh, and did I forget, you need to double cover!  You can’t just wear your shirt and skirt, you need to wear a full body apron, in plain colors, of course, to cover your nakedness.  If you just wear a loose fitted shirt that covers your collar bone, that is still extremely scantily dressed in their standards.   Religion is never satisfied, but Christ satisfied the law.  You never satisfy religion because it will always want that bar higher and higher.  And one group will think the other group is too worldly or that they do not fit their standard just right.  And they STAY AWAY from them!

Here is the thing, we will never, NEVER satisfy the law.  We will always fall short.  We just can’t play that game any longer—we can’t.  We believe in Jesus Christ, His shed blood and His righteousness that has been applied to our account.  We can’t go back to keeping this and that law.  We fear it leads to false conversions, leads to people thinking they are saved because they KEEP the standards, and then later to wind up in Hell because Christ does not require any of it to start with.  He sees our hearts and he is bigger than systems and principles.  He is much bigger than doctrines and rules.  He sees right into a man’s heart and no matter what, God is not man, and does not have human thoughts.  We on the other hand judge wrongly many times because we can’t see one’s heart.  People love systems, love rules, because it makes them feel more secure.  But we have seen, because we have seen a lot and heard a lot, many families that really went strict on their standards and still lost their kids to the world because they did not give their children free will.  God gives us free will so that we will freely follow him.  We really want our kids to have their own convictions and live with their choices.

This may be tough for some of you to understand, but I would be happier to have a child who was a prodigal, who made bad choices, and it made them fall on their face and truly get saved verses a child that lived a so-called righteous life in every way, they looked the part, acted the part, and did so many wonderful things in the name of God, BUT wound up in hell because they were just playing the religion game.  I can’t force my husband to get back into the mold.  He is free in Christ, loves Jesus with all his heart and soul, and I am so thankful for that.  I have a husband that entirely is saved, totally trusts in Jesus and loves his neighbor as himself.  Mark may not be a religious man practicing the letter of the law, but he will alw
ays be there for someone who is in need, he will always give his heart fully to serving others and his family.  He lets the girls wear pants, or shorter skirts (knee length, not mini—to those of you that would love to quickly assume!), not because he likes it, he does it because he wants them to exercise their own convictions.  He leads them in truth, tells them what the bible says but lets them make the decisions.  I would rather have rules but I see my husband’s desire to TRAIN the kids to handle the modern world that they live in.  He also allows more music and videos than what most conservatives would ever allow.  I can’t justify it.  I can’t sugar coat that.  I can’t make it better, either.  Like I told you before, a house divided against itself will not stand, so I have to stand with my man, I love him that much.  My tendency is to go all out on standards, I love them.  I have cleaved to standards because they feel so good, so right, but when you have a very practical and wise husband that sees through all of the vices religion has, well, you have to keep yourself from stumbling into that vice again.  I actually stay away from the plain people because of that.  Because they try to convert me, they try to convince me about head coverings or my worldly attire, to leave my husband so I can fully worship the Lord, and I sometimes get a feeling like I wish I could dress that way and live like they do and it is WRONG!  I covet so much the things of God, but women are different than men, we have to have that security in our lifestyle.  Men are different, they see things as they are, or anyhow my husband does, he sees through people’s outward adornment of religious practices.  He is not impressed by it.  In fact, some of the nastiest people, weirdest people we have ever met have hid behind religion.

I actually wrote the family a letter letting them go because I was afraid we were too liberal for them.  They assured us that they would not reject us, so we let our guard down again.  And because I did something that they felt was an inappropriate action, which is super easy to happen because I am impulsive and I do things sometimes without thinking.  I am always learning and growing in that area.  My husband really does help me censor and filter most things, but he was not there that weekend!  They quickly cut off all ties with our family.  And it hurt us deeply.  They burned the bridge, with no chance of redemption.  I did not have any way to make it right, it was over!!!  It happened just as we had feared.  And fear is the opposite of faith.  And others opinions should not hurt us, what others do should not shake us.  But it did.  I became bitter and angry over it.  I was bitter because I knew I lost the battle.  I knew there was no one else HERE in our community to influence my kids as far as conservative dress values.  And my anger was pushing my kids away.  And there in lies the problem, I was depending on People and people will always disappoint us!  Eventually, I had to wave my white flag of surrender and say, I need Jesus!

It is very embarrassing to me to realize how I fell in that trap, even though I knew better!  Even though I have so much to be thankful for!  I became very ungrateful and I started to hate who I had become!  But I wanted my WAY!  Wearing long skirts was the safe zone.  The modern world was FINE with it, and the conservatives were not offended.  I was safe there!  I could please everyone that way!  I wanted people to like us!  I am a public figure and I realize that comes with a responsibility because people follow people!  And that is just how it goes.  They get super disappointed when someone they look up to, someone they felt was not a stumbling block changes.  Look at the Duggar situation, or Vision Forum.  So many conservatives followed these people—did you hear me?—People!  That is the first mistake!  Don't follow people!  People can put on a show!  Especially in front of a camera!  I filmed all of the Homestead Videos, and do you think I filmed when I was crabby or unthankful, or heaven forbid, when I snapped at my kids or snarled at my husband—NO!  Why, that would be ugly!  And why would I want to show people my ugliness?!

​Here is the answer to my first question of what to do if you were offended by my dress...If you are disappointed, you don't need to waste any more of your time reading anything that I write, just move on!  Follow Jesus for your example.  Don't follow me!  Don't be disappointed when you watch me.  Please don't try to be like me!  I am sure not perfect! Some people think they can look to me for an example, they read something that they felt helped them, but I am a Not a great example!  Christ is the REAL HERO!  He is the only one that is for sure, the only one who is unspotted from the world, the only one that understands your heart and can judge justly each choice you make— And He is the only one that can save you!

There is freedom in letting go.  I release you!  I don't have any strings attached to you.  I never went the route other bloggers do to make money on my blog, I have no selfish reason to try to keep my numbers up.  If you are disappointed, just go!  You are FREE!

​To those that are ready for growing, stick around, I am about to share some amazing truths that I have been learning about healing our minds!  I just went to a conference about the mind just a couple days ago, and it literally changed my life!  I can't wait to pay forward those beautiful truths onto those that really need it!

Just for a reminder…

Tea Time Talk Show Tuesday Upcoming Schedule:

Tuesday, May 1, 2018  at 10 am CST will feature Co-Host Owen Newman

  • The following Tuesday will be featuring Owen Newman from the hills of TN talking about homesteading and the simple life.  He has a lot of wisdom and experience living with less and making the most of each and every resource they are given.  If you have any specific questions, please leave a comment below or send us an email or message on facebook from the keeper of the homestead page.  

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0 thoughts on “Don’t Follow People!

  1. I really enjoy your blogs Erin. I’ve been a slave to trying to please everyone around me by dressing to their standards for too long. I am learning everyday that only Jesus is the answer. Thank you for sharing. God bless you. From a sister in Christ Lena

  2. I appreciate your transparency, and in no way, feel disappointment towards you. There are certain “standards” I hold; uncut hair, skirts, etc. but I don’t believe salvation comes through these things. They are not salvation issues, they are relationship/conviction issues. As a woman, you have chosen to ignore your feelings and sensibilities, and instead follow God’s design for your life, which is finding your life in your husbands life. You’re doing exactly what you were called to do, regardless, of what others try to convince you of. Prayers to you and your family.

  3. Erin,
    I do admire your heart. I am guilty also of following other families and dressing and acting like them over the years. About a year ago, God got a hold of my heart and reminded me that they are just people! He is the ultimate example. Now, we are more happy and fulfilled for looking to Christ😀

  4. I miss your family and you, Erin, and all that you wrote in this helps me see your heart…especially about following your husband! Thanks for sharing!

  5. You are right on, Erin! Jesus is the only thing that matters. 🙂 I want to invite you to visit my own blog. I think you would be encouraged. I was raised in a very conservative, homeschooling, legalistic community back in the 90s and early 2000s. I have spent the last 10+ years learning to leave the law behind and love and follow Jesus. Praying for you!!

  6. Christians are to be known by their love and forgiveness. Yes, we are to be modest and pure but the husband of the family should set these standards, not others. God cares about the heart above all. Yes, we will stumble along the way but all that matters is that our hearts are right with Him. Do we love Him and believe in Him?
    The important thing is to have your children’s hearts, not control every action and make sure it lines up perfectly to “the Law” since we are dead to the Law. Make sure your children know the Word and have hidden it deep in their hearts for this is what transforms them!
    I love your willingness to be lead by your husband, Erin. I am one that likes rule keeping more than my husband but if was a great balance for raising children. May the Lord continue to grow you up in Him.
    Love you too, my friend!
    P.S. Call me anytime! I love talking with you. 😉

  7. I can so relate. For 15 years I followed the whole standard thing. Like you I love that way, but I did it to be accepted and in the end,like you I was basically shunned from a church I had been a member of for over 15 years because I couldn’t measure up! That was 2 years ago and I still struggle. But God is good and is showing me things just like you! God bless you for being honest and true…it is refreshing to find others that have struggled like I have and feel led to share their journey!

  8. Soooo good. I was a skirt wearing, long haired rigid person a few years back. Surrounded myself with such. I was vacationing with a fellow “law followers” and my cell phone rang. You see, my favorite song has always been Sweet Home Alabama. I have sentimental reasons but I have since learned, no justification needed for a cell phone ring. Anyhow, my “friend in Christ” was SHOCKED. She rolled her eyes, and explained to me how embarrassing it was. Ashamed I should be !!
    Later that year she saw pictures of my late teen girls rock climbing in capri pants. The question was, “How are you dealing with their rebellion?” WHAT??? Needless to say, it’s been a few years of no communication. At all. Breaks my heart. We were so close. Such a loss. I feel bad for her. She even rejected my current business venture (the one we all know and love ;)) just because it was full of worldly people. IDK. Makes me sad.

  9. I just watched a video this morning from a man radically in love with Jesus. He spoke on this very topic – being free from what others think about us. But even more, being free from our own expectations of others – because all that matters is that we know who we are in Christ. We are PASSIONATELY loved, we are friends of Christ, heirs to His kingdom, and our only purpose here is to love as He loves. Everyone. Especially the ‘unlovable’. It’s only when we know WHO we are, that we are truly free! Great blog post. Blessings, Erin!

  10. You cannot imagine how this affected me this morning! What timely reading. I went straight to my own blog and walked thru your story with my own. I have years and years of not fitting in on either side…too much worldly for the Plain, too plain for the world. I truly thought, at least on a conscience level, that I had moved beyond that hurt and that confusion, but I can certainly see that it is still deeply ingrained in my daily walk.
    Thank you for sharing your transparency with all of us. I for one am deeply blessed, and it has opened a door to dealing with my own issues here. I appreciate it so much!

  11. Our family has been thrown out of plain circles before. I am glad to say we have severed ties with all of them.
    I am going to be bold and say that most so called “Anabaptist” circles are just flat out cults. They try to control every aspect of peoples lives, and you can’t do that. If someone wants to do evil you can’t stop them by setting standards.
    Plain people can’t even get along with themselves. That’s why there are so many groups out there. Some wear veils, some wear bonnets, but oh, not all bonnets are created equal!! No, no! There are bonnets with strings, bonnets without strings. strings in the front, strings in the back…. need I go on?
    These people ruin many families, (I am glad to say we escaped!)either by rejecting them, or by getting them wrapped up in their region that they can’t get out.
    Jesus is the only way. Period. It’s not what you do, or say, it’s what HE ALREADY DID, and believing that.
    That being said, I still think that a woman should wear a dress.
    Only is the past 50 years has women wearing plants been the norm.
    All women wore a dress at one time. Christian, or not. That is just what women did (and should do). A dress makes a women a lady.
    I know Christian women that wear pants. I don’t really even think about it. But I can say that they would look better in a dress! 🙂

  12. Thanks!!! Needed that! I don’t know how many times my husband has talked to me about needing such close friend relationships that end up rocking our family boat. Seems we don’t measure up in some circles and are rejected by those who see our standards as too rigid and old fashioned by others lol! So encouraged by your story and especially your willingness to follow and be lead by your husband. I’m impulsive and my husband often shakes his head when he has to rescue me from picking daisies as I call it. That’s when I ran off to do something without thinking (the picking daisies part) and got stuck on the “fence” (safety hedge I probably had to climb to get wherever I rushed off to) and then he has to come save me! (I’m usually hung up on the fence lol) They way you describe the choices allowed in your family are very similar to the way my husband leads our children (and me hehe). I remember in NC at the shindig, my husband chatted with yours at the book table for a minute or two. I asked him about it because he normally doesn’t have the social bug need that I do. He said because I had all your videos, went to your seminar, and now wanted your book, he just wanted to chat with the man behind the lady. 🙂 Thanks! I was a mess too, now I’m less “messy” but a work in progress! Like I commented on the teen post, You can, I can, We can! Praise the Lord! Thank you!!! Many Blessing to you all!

  13. A relationship with Christ is not about rules. Jesus ate with sinners and tax collectors. He never made the woman at the well feel ashamed. I assumed she changed because of her love for Him not because of a bunch of rules she had to keep. You can wear long skirts, long hair, never drink a drop of alcohol, and attend church three times a week, but that doesn’t mean you have a relation with Christ. My heart hurts for the American church and their laws they put on people. They are not so different than the Pharisees in Jesus Day. Wake up church….people are dying and going to hell everyday and all you care about is if that person follows certain standards that YOU have put in place, not Christ.

  14. I feel nearer to Jesus since I started to drift away from the establish church. He is the way to salvation.Petty rules made by man take you away from a true relationship with him. Erin you are a good wise person led by God and have a husband who obviously loves and supports you do not let people tell you othertwise. I love that you share your thoughts openly and honestly with us, you are a breath of fresh air in this complicated and materialistic world. God bless you always. Diane x

  15. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. You will not even be judged for any sins you commit here on earth. Jesus already died for those, how could God judge us for them when they’ve already been paid for? Now, there is only one sin we will be judged for and that’s on whether we believe that God sent His Son for us or not. Jesus said the worlds sin is that it doesn’t believe in me. God doesn’t love you any more or any less if you keep some sort of law to please Him, it’s man law anyways. The only thing that pleases Him is that you believe He sent His Son so he He can be reconcile back to you for a loving relationship. We please Him when we let Jesus live through us. Keep writing and letting people know of your freedom from the law. And don’t look back. I’m in Charis bible college and one of the teachers said it like this(paraphrasing) “if we try to please God in our own might, (by keeping the law or doing works) we aren’t acknowledging the complete work on the cross that Jesus did for us.” We have complete and total freedom! When we understand Gods love for us, (why He sent His Son for us), how can we not love Him for that?! It makes us want to live righteously because we love Him not because we fear Him. There are so many scriptures that tell us the Jesus makes us righteous. That’s what He did. Because you believe in Jesus and what He did through the cross, YOU ARE RIGHTEOUS! That is the truth! Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise, don’t listen to the hypocritical Pharisees who try to keep the law, that is their own righteousness. Ours is through Jesus not by anything we could ever do. It’s impossible to keep the law. It was given to us to show us that we needed we a Savior. And that’s where our freedom from judgement comes from, for those that believe.

  16. Erin, sweet sister in Christ, bless you! My heart aches for the pain you and your family have walked through.
    I am very much looking forward to your upcoming information on healing the mind!

  17. Thank you Erin for your courage in sharing this post. My tendency is to get caught up in rules but I can see how destructive that is. It is not an easy journey. I’m so sorry for all the painful things you have been through and the rejection. I look forward to reading the things you are going to share.

  18. Erin,
    I love your blog and your book — oh, and your videos too! I wish we lived closer because I think we would be good friends. Praying that God heals your heart over this lost friendship. You have a precious family ~ keep your eyes on Jesus!

  19. Thank you! I am learning that dress and standards can make us judge others and NOT have a heart for the lost!! Woe unto me if I think a standard can save me or sanctify me! I have a 12 yr old daughter that is fearful to wear pants I have to insist when we are canoeing or when I think a skirt even a long one may draw MORE attention to her. And yes there are those times. I appreciate her desire to be modest but I have many what we jokingly call “pants talks” with her about the dangers of trusting in standards . It’s a delicate road because I want to encourage her to trust the lord . modest and femine is our saying. And yes I believe you can be modest and femine in pants. that leads me to my need point. we can not take what God has lead others to do and put it on ourselves! It is a yoke in my option of we do that. We can not duplicate the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life and expect the same results. We need to draw close to the lord in reading his word confession and prayer HE will lead us. When we yield to the spirit we don’t have to fear.

  20. Thankyou Erin for being so open with this subject. My story is so long I couldn’t even write it all out. I went throughout this very thing about 12 yrs ago. To make the long story short, I do wear skirts most of the time, pants with modest longer tops now and then. My married daughters both dress modestly wearing pants and skirts too. We all like the skirts and dresses the most. I cover for worship. I am the only one in my church that does so. My husband believes in covering as well. One other lady is skirts and dresses only, many others wear dresses and skirts for worship, and some wear pants to worship. I have to say that I LOVE THIS! I would never want to be a part of a dresses only, covering church. It becomes the focus. I have learned that Christ needs to be the focus. If our church would ever make rules about this we would leave. I believe that the Bible teaches modesty, but making rules about this just divides. I love families and individuals that love the Lord and are walking in the Spirit, and growing daily in the Word, and the grace of God. I fell into the conservative homeschooling family cultish Christian religion years ago. The truth is that The body of Christ is made up of people. Individuals and families. People of all different walks of life, race and background. I know that God gave me the convictions that I have, but they are not the focus of my relationship to God, or my brothers and sisters in Christ. So true that Satan can get us all caught up in what we can do or not do, instead of reaching out to the lost, or being a blessing to the body of Christ.

  21. Dear Erin
    Wow, two raw posts after each other, and so full of victory.
    We are busy moving. I just bring the last load last night. I am very tiered, but so blessed and grateful.
    My past two years was years of healing, major healing. In our new apartment so full of light in the mountains it is as if my life is beginning.
    Just before you enter our new community, there is a sign next to the road, reading ‘Begin your life’. Amazing. God is having a new start with me. It is as if I am coming out of my Winter season, entering my summer season. Praise and glorify God!!!!!
    I know what you mean about wanting to be part of a family with the same standards. My children would often wanted to move to your family. It is amazing how much we go through the same things. It is as if we live the same kind is Christian life in two different continents. I am talking about trials and error. Not lifestyle. You homestead, I live in an apartment. But never the less, our growth and wantings are very much the same.
    I am looking very forward to your sharing about the mind. I have a great hunger on Holy Spirit filled knowledge on this area.
    I am a big follower of your blog, of you, not because of you, but because of what Jesus gives me by knowing you and helps me to read in clear life living what is going on in my life.
    Most of your posts are more a conversation on what God is busy doing in my life.
    Thank you for your honesty. May we grow in love and kindness and not standards of outward appearances. Do we fear what we will become if we wear the wrong dress because our heart is not in the right place. We don’t need to fear what we dress because our hears are in Jesus. In Jesus there is no fear. If we fear for not keeping laws, so call standards, we did not find the true love in God and can’t we reach soles.
    Thank God for husband’s. They keep us balanced. My poor children would be little soldiers if it wasn’t for him.
    Love you so much Erin. So much.

  22. Hmm. Boy Erin, sounds like you all have been through a lot. I must say that I believe I feel more feminine in a dress but doggone it’s nicer wearing jeans when it’s minus 20 and you have to trudge outdoors for anything. Also in summer I would love to wear a nice cool skirt in the garden except I hate the thought of a bug crawling up my leg. I am thankful for capri pants ( loose and slightly longer ones ) . Love wearing dresses in church. That way no one behind a woman will be noticing her behind! Ha !
    I wish all people would see that Salvation is through Christ-period. A dress or skirt doesn’t save you; neither does a head covering. God gave women hair as their covering. Plainly spelled out in the Bible.
    I guess I see things simply, including the Bible. It says what it says and means what it says.
    Another quick thing that might get people thinking ( and better yet…reading God’s Word ) : not all that claim to be Christians are true believers. Many verses tell us that. We heard a wonderful sermon entitled- Another Jesus, Another Spirit, Another Gospel.
    Now that was a good lesson learned. Just because someone talks about jesus, the holy spirit or salvation doesn’t mean they are talking about the Jesus of the Bible or Salvation by faith alone. There is another jesus and he does not get his name in capitals ( 2 Corinthians 11:4 ). So Erin, those that had there own man made rules were probably following the wrong Jesus. At least many were.
    I mean when the rules are clearly against what God says plainly…yep those people are NOT my brethren In Christ. I think we all need to meditate on Matthew 7:22. Kinda scary, eh?
    Having said all that. I think we women still need to be careful and to not be s stumbling block to our brothers in Christ and the male population in general. Tight pants and snug t- shirts only draw the eyes to them. And one more tiny thing to ponder. ( cause I have starting to wonder about this )… It’s probably not the best thing to wear t-shirts that having words plastered across the front. Gee I wonder where the eyes will be directed to then?
    Sorry to ramble on. God bless, protect and direct you all.

    • I am so thankful for your post as well. I am so willing to adjust as the Lord leads and leads my husband. We never want to present ourselves as a stumbling block to others. That is a very good point!

  23. I love spreading the good news of grace at the churches we sing at! How refreshing it is to bring the old, old, story to some that have all but given up hope for some fear or another. We tend to forget The Truth of his blood & must be reminded of the freedoms we possess in Christ!!

  24. I, too, am about at the end of my rope with trying to make friends and be hurt over and over again. It feels much safer and easier to stay in the shell. I’m sorry for your devastating experiences with people. When given time, we can eventually get back up and try again, but sometimes it takes a lot of time. I pray that you will continue to follow Jesus and the Holy Spirit in all things-He’ll lead you through, and remember to keep looking for those who might need your help and encouragement to see them through. Thank you for the heartfelt and insightful posts. May Jesus bless you and your family. Humble yourself under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time, cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

  25. I certainly understand the club mentality of some plain and super conservative Christians, but I know quite a few in these groups who are not at all like the people you have been hurt by. It is like with any group/church of Christians anywhere – there seem to be a rather small number within each group who are truly seeking after Jesus. There are some plain Anabaptists who are more understanding of those who have not been raised in their culture and religious faith and who find others have spiritual strengths to share with them. We have been involved with a plain church for many years when we can ( we have a very sick son who is not able to do much) and while I definitely saw the club mentality thing and was rejected by a few (actually, we were at the heart of a debate over divorce remarriage ) there were more people there who opened their hearts to us than were not. My best friend is a member and has challenging children ( autistic – they are grown, but several still live with her.) who are not at all plain and yet are treated well and encouraged to come to church, Another friend’s granddaughter is paralyzed from a car accident and though she is not plain and wears pants the sisters of the plain church have taken turns every day helping her with leg exercises for about 5 yrs now. We are not interested in joining a plain church ( even if they would have us!) because we are not Anabaptist and because we do not like a democratic like church. But, we do find encouragement for our walk, which is hard to find when one does this pretty much alone ( the plain church I am speaking of is almost an hour away) and we have had wonderful Bible studies and times of introspection with many who are diligently seeking after the Lord. I am sure people assume things about us, in our plain clothes, just as you feel assumptions are made against you in your less conservative clothing. I know I have absolutely nothing against a woman who wears pants and no covering. I have been accused of thinking less of a woman who did not cover, but this is not true. If I woman has read the scripture regarding covering and believes this means not to cover I respect her understanding. She should do what her husband wishes her to do no matter what she believes. I also want to reveal that 3 times we have been sent a large some of money from a member of this church anonymously ( they took a load of grain in and had the company pay us and we were able to figure out who it was eventually) – just like they do others I know about who are members of their church. When our son was in the hospital we have visits, more money, gifts, food from these people. Not all of them, but some. There is a good core there and their plain dress is not a mark of pride for them as many have accused. I say this all in a good spirit and acknowledge that some plain and conservative folks can be all about the wrong thing, but honestly, we will find wolves and unregenerate people posing as Christians in most any church.

    • I am glad you chimed in, no, not all are this way. I have met plenty that are very generous and show Godly charity toward others. It is good always to balance things out and I am definitely open to that! There are all kinds of scripture to illustrate your theory that there are oft times wolves in sheep’s clothing. Sad but true. We are to be a light and we pray by our love for one another they will know that we are HIS! Glad to have your comment here!

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